die constantly

Ram Dass talks about the moment of death being a pinnacle of spiritual growth.  Because the deepest mystery of universe is revealed to us.  Be curious.  present.  not clinging to any particular path or stories.

I'd like to take this a step further, as one's inner-masochist might say: die constantly.  Every second, every breath is an opportunity to let go of who you think you are.  Who you think you should be.  You aren't your body.  All you have is the awareness of the air and energy flowing in and out of you.  This is something I meditate on when I focus on the breath.  It helps (when doing breathing meditation) to focus on one location where the breath has a noticeable exchange with the physical body: for example, the belly rising and falling, the pressure and feelings around the nostrils as air enters and exits, the expansion and retreat of the chest. 

Dass describes his fear and panic at the moment where his thoughts had given up.  "It's scary because you're not thinking anything."  A natural state of nonthought... has become scary to our minds, so used to constant stimulation and DOING.

How can we not become afraid when we're so trained to DO, to PRODUCE, to BE something other than ourselves.  to CREATE.   I'm always writing ideas.  I have journals of shit.  Because I feel a compulsion to keep producing, keep thinking.  And suddenly, empty, I stop and see myself as the little rat on the wheel that I am.  And I laugh at myself, how silly it is to get caught up in momentary feelings of loneliness, anger, guilt, etc.  All become I have some idea about who I think I am, my ideas about others, and how those two "ought to" coincide.  Too many damn "oughts." 

"The emptier my mind was, the more optimal my response was to every situation.  i don't have any plan for what i'm going to say to you.  what i was suppposed to talk about?  what we say is what we say, the result of this situation."  (Dass excerpt from lecture).

As long as you think that there is a do-er, you're still attached.  Right now you may feel prone to identify yourself as reader.  Detach and witness the action of reading.  Breathe and welcome the emptiness that makes you throw your head back and laugh at how stupid it is to get wrapped up in little dramas.   I am a witness to the actions of thinking, speaking, listening.  I am not a reader, speaker, listener, etc.  Why cling to any one action--the nature of actions is that they change.  reading is.  speaking is.  writing is.

Some other highlights of Ram Dass' talk from above:

"Go to a place inside where the flame doesn't flicker.. watch your drama goes by.  desire as well, lust.  fear.  there it goes.  personality is like clothing.  body is clothing.  behind all this shit, here i am.  here we are.  here.  it is.

"Actions don't fall away but attachment to actions fall away. 

"It takes someone willing to give up the framework of their lives sufficiently to experience another orientation towards the universe to be able to know what needs to be known.  must give it all up first.  surrender the western model of who you are and how it works.  Become aware of the notion that you are a product of your environment...(something like that).


"if the body belongs to god, show me the paperwork."

^^ clever